Category Pains

Single Mom

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I feel you, your pain, physically, mentally and emotionally., I understand you, your sacrifices. I hear you. your silent cries, your jumbled thoughts that keeps you awake at night. I know, it isn’t easy. I believe that being a single mom is the toughest job on Earth. You have to juggle too many roles. From cleaning the house to helping the kids, to going to work, to tucking the kids at night. you will wake up when everyone is still asleep , to prepare their day. And you have to wait for everyone to sleep before you can finally rest your body in bed at night. And when you close your eyes, there goes the bills , the this and that that you have to care about.. not to mention the pressures at work, your health and all. Then there you are, staring blankly at the ceiling trying to figure out everything, forcing your exhausted brain to come up with something. And you only have yourself to embrace with when tears broke in. You feel helpless. you wish you can just give up. Everyday is a battle. And there’s never an easy one, but you will wipe your tears away and smile, you ll pray and will firmly convince yourself that you will get through it.  I don’t know how you do it, but you will still wake up the next day with a smile on your face. If you are not a superhero, I don’t know what is.

You didn’t plan to be a single mom. All of us once wished to be a princess with a knight in shining armor, and live happily ever after. but life is not a fairy tale honey.. so you just have to deal with your cards. Being a single mom is a broad, deep, complicated thing that only those who’ve walked the same road may fully understand. It is not for the weak and fainthearted. It takes a lot of courage to be one. Most of your days you will feel like you failed. You can work day and night and worn your body and soul, but that’s never enough to call u the best mom. it aches your heart that you cant give your kids the quality time they need. You can hardly provide all the things that they want. you don’t have holidays.. and well, you don’t even have the minute to think of finding your man. To find someone who can accept you and everything about you is another story. Sometimes life is difficult. it feels impossible to take a breath, even for a strong woman. And on those moments when the walls feels like closing and suffocating you, when options are limited., just remind yourself that they can’t break you! you’re doing well 🙂 Sometimes it may really take long, but even the clouds run out of rain. These too, the hardships, shall pass. stay strong.

-LM 042819

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Like a Little Candle

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Like a little candle
On a deafening, silent night
When darkness fills all corners
My light will make it bright.
A light I cannot keep,
to brighten up my own-
No matter how much I give,
I would shine but feels alone.
And on a stormy weather,
When winds are raging, blowing cold-
I am here to keep you warm,
just come closer to me, behold.
Such warmth I wish to feel,
to tame my troubled heart.
Burning love to end my fears,
like the heat of sun when rain departs.
On times of your despair,
When loved-ones left or gone-
I am here to mourn with you,
I’ll be up until you’re done.
Those tears, I longed to cry,
To let go these pains I keep.
Im tired to say I’m strong,
When inside I sob and weep.
But like a little candle,
I’ll keep shinin’ for your sake.
I won’t make noise about my sorrow-
It’s the fate I have to take.
So embrace the light I give-
For it is my strength and life I spend,
And as these sorrow fades and through-
The candle’s life will end.

-LM

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Why Am I Afraid to Love?

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HUMAN PAINS IN A LOVELESS


All of us to some extent are enduring agonies of loneliness, frustration, emotional and spiritual starvation. Somehow these pains are radically due to failures in love. The essential sadness of such pain is that it magnetizes the focus of our attention; it preoccupies us with ourselves. And self-preoccupation is an absolute obstacle to a life of love.

I once asked a Psychiatrist friend of mine, “How can you teach people to love?” His answer was mildly surprising o say the least. He answered the question by asking one of his own:” Did you ever have a toothache?” Of whom were you thinking during the distress of your toothache?” His point was clear. When we are in pain, even if it’s only a passing discomfort of an aching tooth, we are thinking about ourselves.

The Psychiatrist continued,” This is a pain-filled world in which we are living. And the pains that reside deep in the human hearts around us are not like a toothache. We go with them at night and we wake up with them in the morning. Two-thirds of all the hospital beds in this country are now occupied by mental patients. One out of ten Americans has already been treated for mental illness. The pain inside of them became too deep and required professional attention.

“This is a pain-filled world, and so, a loveless world that we live in. Most human beings are so turned-in by their own pains that they cannot get enough of themselves to love to any great extent.”

-excerpt from the book Why Am I Afraid to Love? by John Powell

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